Honestly.

I just re-read my last post.

My level of honesty got me feeling a little queasy. I wondered if I should delete some stuff, but then thought "how would we know that there are others like us out there if no one shares?" and "if I let all this crazy talk stay in my head, I might have a nervous breakdown". Or something like that.

There's not much I can do about it, the honesty thing. I've always been that way. I used to just blurt stuff out, at inopportune times. I suppose that's just a product of being young, or maybe I had some kind of social anxiety.  In any case, as I've gotten older, I've developed a keener sense of discernment, and censor when my insides tell me to, but I still try not to withhold too much, from others, and from myself.

Some more honesty with ourselves could be amazing - we would leave the job or relationship sooner, get back to the gym, apologize more quickly. More honesty could temper the world, dissolve some of the isolation so many of us feel. We might take the high road, be more mature, and look at the state of things, the real state of things and then know which direction to move. More honesty in religion and politics could solve things more quickly, bring us together, allow for a new level of accountability.

But so often, in so many areas, we withhold, and avoid, and just agree, and that can just lead to festerings and then we judge and get defensive and ... honestly, why do that?

A bonus is when you are honest, you can also become a good listener to others, and you begin to fine tune how you listen to yourself. Because you know, by being someone who shares, how important it is to be heard. Imagine a world filled with really good listeners, really hearing others, really being heard, really understanding ourselves. Oh the balance we'd create!

So I think I'll keep on noticing, sharing, listening for the timing of things. And see myself, and the world, as good and welcoming mouths & ears.

That's what I know for now, honestly.

in Love completely,
Laura xxoo

** Made a shake earlier with chia seeds and ground flax seeds. I think this will do my body good. Also drinking a ton of water because it's like a million degrees in Portland right now. **